Wicked Road Read online

Page 11


  “Your backpack?” Jade guessed.

  “Yeah.” As far as I could remember, it was the first time I'd ever forgotten it. Well, not forgotten, but left it there on purpose.

  “Eh, Ronnie, being the gentleman that he is, asked to give it to you himself,” Jade replied.

  I was still pretty upset at Ronnie for leaving. The pain would take a very long time to heal. I didn’t hate him though, only loved him more. It was as if I craved him.

  We finished our snacks and got back to the movie. Both of them fell asleep, leaving me all alone again; only Spike’s snoring kept the excruciating silence away.

  Stiff by the time the movie ended, I stretched and made my way to the bathroom. When I opened the door to my room I heard tapping on my window again. Only whoever it was used their nails. My hair rising, I stood their paralyzed. Other than Spike and Jade, who else would bother me this late? Scared, I looked around my room for a weapon. I couldn’t think of anything but the fictional book I was reading about Werewolves on my nightstand.

  I held it in my hands in front of me. Slowly and silently I approached my window. Hesitating, I gulped as I closed my eyes and wished for courage. I quickly pushed my curtain aside. The person freaked and stumbled back from my sudden reaction. His hands gripped the ledge on my window. I gasped loudly as I realized it was Ronnie. I dropped the book and slid open my window for him, pulling him in my room. After shutting my window I glowered at him. “What the hell were you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” I whispered angrily.

  Panting, he just lay there. I crossed my arms, sat on the edge of my bed, and looked down at his feet waiting on him to collect himself. “I came to bring back your backpack.” He replied finally.

  He didn't smile. He took the straps of my back pack off his shoulders and set it beside him. He sat cross legged in the floor. “I had to sneak out to get here you know. I'm not wasting the effort I made to come see you for one minute.” He sounded determined.

  “So you couldn’t have waited to give it to me in the morning?!”

  “Nope!”

  I bit down on my lip not saying another word.

  “Look Don, I know you're still upset, but I did what I had to do to not hurt you.”

  “Except that's it. No matter what the thing is, I'll always get hurt by it.”

  He sighed and rubbed his neck. “So, you don't wanna talk to me anymore? Is that it?”

  I gave up. I knew I was hurting him too. I didn't want to hurt him at all. “Of course not. I do want to talk to you.” I managed, smiling.

  He stood and stared out my window. “I should've told you earlier, but our time is really short. And I'm not saying in days, but more like only a few hours.” He looked at me with those painful, glistening eyes.

  I was shocked! Wide-eyed, I looked at him. “Are you trying to say you're leaving me in less than a day?”

  “More like less than half a day. That's why I came to share this last night with you. I'm going to finally let out everything I've kept hidden from you over the years.”

  Taken aback, I wondered what he meant behind those words. My cheeks flamed like fire blazing. The room felt suddenly too hot for me and I felt the need to cool down. Especially freeze my frantic beating heart. I wanted to pierce it with a pencil just to make it stop beating. I wanted to super glue my eyes so I wouldn’t cry. I couldn't speak or think. Because nothing was making sense to me right now.

  “My family has had these plans to move upstate ever since I met you back in my ninth grade. I didn't tell you at that time, because I thought it wouldn't be important, I thought they'd change their mind, and just stay here. But I was wrong. And the more the years passed by, the more I felt our time was getting shorter. The reason my parents want to go upstate is because they want me in the best University. This is one of the reasons why I didn't join Matt's band. Also, my mom is arranging for me to marry her friend’s daughter in the future,” he whispered, gritting his teeth.

  I moved closer to him to hear better. What the hell was going on right now? Why was life so against me? Why didn’t it want to see me content and happy? I gulped down on the word. “Married? Your mom?”

  He nodded, looking away from my face. “I didn't know about it until today and she never took my opinion on it. She just...threw it at my face.”

  Shocked, I looked away from him. Suddenly, I felt I shouldn’t tell him how I felt. Not when we would have so little time together. His mom was way too cruel. She was the cause for all of this, I was sure. I scoffed. “Why? We don't live in the eighteen-hundreds!”

  “It's just how she grew up. She came from a very rich family, and they arranged a marriage for her. It’s how she got my dad.”

  “But Ronnie, it's your life. Why are you letting your mom control it for you?”

  He scoffed. “My mom has always planned my future. I’ve never been able to argue with her. Everyone agrees with what she wants. It’s always been like that. She just wants the best for me.”

  “So even though you have your own wishes you’re going to let her control your life?” Gosh, she sounds like such a dictator.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but I gave up long ago. I can’t explain it and I know it makes me look weak. My dad has allowed her to control everything since they were married.”

  “And you're not doing crap about it?”

  “Even if I tried, nothing would convince her. She's too hard-headed. And trust me, I have tried! Nothing will change her mind once she’s made it. Even if I moved out on my own, she’d just come along and ruin it all so I’d have to go back to her. Drag me back home from the ears if she has to. You have no idea!”

  “So, you're giving up?” I wanted to shout at him.

  He winced. “Donnie, no matter how many times I tried, she always found a way to make me do what she wanted.”

  After I thought it over I gave up. No matter how much he loved me as a best friend, he’d choose her over me. “I guess it's for the best then.”

  “For the best,” he repeated looking into the distance.

  As I turned to say something else, his lips found mine.

  Unable to resist, I curled into him, my body responding in ways I couldn’t comprehend. With his hands, he gently cradled my face. Like a volcano, my heart erupted, warming me all over. The unbelievably intense emotions fueled my adrenaline. I’d never kissed a guy before. My body felt like melting ice, frozen and burning at the same time.

  As he panted, he touched his forehead to mine. He kept my head firmly in place. My chest moved to the pattern my heart hammered.

  Why would he do this to me now, when he was leaving me? I wanted to knock him senseless. I had known he’d had feelings for me, it had been obvious. With a move like this, he needs to apologize.

  He must have sensed my thoughts. “I'm not apologizing, because this moment shouldn't be about saying sorry. It should be just about us enjoying the few hours we have left together. Before my heart stops beating, and I become the undead, I want to be with you. I want to spend every last second with you. I want to feel alive! Because I will never find anyone after you who makes me feel this way. Would you stop looking at me like that?! It's making me feel self-conscious.”

  It’s like he read my mind. Who was this Ronnie? Did I know him? He’d suddenly changed, in a good way. He relaxed right before my eyes. Everything that he'd kept from me he let out. The tensions just left him, rolled off his shoulders.

  I shook my head once and looked back at him. I was just stunned at what he was saying. He was being romantic. Here I was sitting like an idiot not saying anything. What could I say? I just didn't have it in me. I guess I wasn’t much of a romantic after all. I smiled anyways. He’d made me smile. I hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. Not ever since Matt died. Nothing was making me happy. But this, this made me beyond joyous. I just hated the thought that we only had hours! “I can assure you you're not saying anything wrong. I'm just speechless. I didn't know you had all of that in you.”
>
  He smiled back and that made me feel better. He caressed my cheeks softly and I tingled all over warmly. From my fingers to my toes, I tingled with passion. Fire scorching its way through me, but I managed to stay calm. I closed my eyes and savored the feelings that left me helpless.

  I was suddenly jealous of this girl who would become his wife. She's going to steal every kiss, every touch that made me feel alive, and burning for more. It was all soon going to be hers. And that's when I remembered. I moved his hand from my neck. “I can't,” I told him. Why did he do this to me now?

  “I guess I can understand why. But I'm not gonna stop myself.” He smiled. “I'm gonna be selfish for once.”

  I didn't want to be selfish. “So, you come to me now to show me you have feelings for me just when you're about to leave? Impressive Ronnie. Really impressive. You're going to leave me brokenhearted.”

  “I'm gonna leave you knowing that someone out there in the world at least cares for you deeply. You won't regret it. You'll actually thank me for it, maybe not now, but someday.”

  I scoffed, disgusted with his way right now. “Is this your way of showing your generosity?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “Looks like I didn't know you after all.”

  “Well, now you know me more than anyone in the world.”

  And there he had a point. He was revealing his true self to me right now. I'm not saying that all these years he'd been a fake. No, he was real, but he just hid his true self from me for a long time. Right now it was like he was not afraid to show me who he really was. He was letting out his darkest secrets. Unbelievably, I wasn’t mad. I was really happy despite everything that had just happened. But I kept the happiness hidden inside of me.

  For the rest of the night, we locked within the other's arms, kissing and talking.

  We talked endlessly, about everything we’d ever kept to ourselves. Turns out he'd had feelings for me ever since day one when I fell from those preppy girls in the music store where he worked. The same time I'd fallen for him. The hours passed, and soon our time would be over, morning was almost here.

  Dawn peeked through my window, its light kissing everything it touched. Time was short. I had to let him go, back home to his mother before she woke, and leave me brokenhearted and alone.

  Ronnie left the sweetest, most tender kiss on my lips before he climbed through my window and went back home. I was not going to let that be our last goodbye, that was for sure.

  Instead of letting sleep take me into its healing embrace, I fought it. I knew if I gave in and slept, I’d miss him. He’d be gone out of my life. So, I kept my eyes wide like a catatonic person, intent on our final goodbye.

  I’d never stayed up this long before and I did it for Ronnie. How could I sleep, after his confession! The sizzling fireworks from earlier still had my body on fire. It won out over the need for sleep.

  It seemed only moments later that I heard people moving stuff. I knew it was time to let Ronnie go, to say goodbye and wish him a great life. A part of me still wanted to be angry at him for wasting all this time we’d had. My already shattered heart could take no more.

  As I saw the movers and trucks, my knees nearly buckled. They had filled it so fast! Ronnie’s vile mother was nowhere to be seen, for which I was truly grateful for. His dad was helping the movers, but we greeted one another.

  I caught Ronnie watching me from his window, standing there staring down at me. I looked away with the feeling of remorse. My heart picked up its pace. Just this morning, a couple of hours ago we were together. And suddenly, he looked different from when I’d last seen him in my room. He came down with natural, un-styled hair wearing a baggy white shirt, and baggy black sweatpants with his hands in his pockets. Even without a smile, I’d have never seen him look any hotter.

  We stood there in beautiful silence not speaking a word for what seemed ages.

  “I tried again you know,” he started. “One last time just this morning even though I said I’d lost hope in trying.”

  I crossed my arms. “And?”

  He took his hands out of his pockets and showed me his left hand red and bruised. He’d know the answer would be the same, but for me, he’d tried again. He couldn’t stay with me.

  My eyes widened because of what he did to himself. He’d hurt himself just to convince his mom to stay. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I hated seeing him like this. I was the one bruised, and should be bruised.

  I took his arm and dragged him to the other side of the lane, away from his house. “Ronnie,” I whined.

  I took his hand in mine to examine the damage. He’d bruised and cut it pretty badly. I could see the blood clotting. “Can you move your fingers?” I asked, my voice cracking as I looked up at him.

  “No. Not right now, it hurts. It'll take a while for it to heal.”

  Looking up, I see Mrs. Sykes sending me a wicked, sinister smile. I glared at her.

  Lifting his hand to my lips, I gently kissed his knuckles. Turning, I gave her my most hateful glare as she sneered. Sometimes I felt like she worked with the devil herself. I look back at Ronnie.

  He put his back to the house, to his mom.

  “I hope it heals soon.”

  “Me too.” He managed to smile for me.

  “You tried again just to stay?”

  “All for you,” he whispered, taking my face in his hands.

  “But you still can! It's your life. You decide what you want to do with it,” I argued trying to fight the tears.

  “I can't.”

  “So it can't be undone at all?”

  “No, it can't. I wish more than anything that I could,” he answered in a dead tone.

  As we stood there in silence, I could no longer hold back my endless tears.

  “Oh, Donnie.”

  He embraced me with tenderness and love as I wrapped my hands around his back in return. I sobbed. He was leaving me for the sake of his family who chose his future. His life at this point was suckier than mine.

  I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I didn't want to put him in a situation or place where he'd struggle between me and his family and future. I looked up at him and I smiled for him in the end. I didn’t want our final goodbye full of tears and sadness. “You won't forget me, right?”

  “Of course not! You're more than I could ask for.” He smiled back.

  I hated myself for what I was going to say next. “Will you forgive me for this and understand? For what I'm going to say right now?” I had to do this for the very best.

  “If you wish for it, then I'll understand,” he told me meaning it, not hesitating.

  I hesitated, because I was going to tell him the most regretful words I’d ever say to him in my life. But I rose up on my tip toes and planted a kiss on his sweet cheeks before I told him. After that I couldn't manage to get the words out right, I was in between the cracks now. But I forced myself to let it out in either way. “We....can't be friends anymore.”

  I read his face and waited on what he was going to say. I saw the pain reflect on his handsome, broken face.

  “Why?” His broken voice wasn't hard to miss.

  I closed my eyes. “Because,” and reopened them looking at him in pain, “it's just for the best.” I couldn't stand knowing he belonged to someone else instead of me. So, I would keep a safe distance.

  He didn't speak a word, but still had that same expression. It looked like he was contemplating on something. Thinking on what he wanted to say next.

  He didn't say anything though. Just the next second, all I knew was his lips were mashing against mine fast and hard. He had one hand on the side of my face, and the other one behind my back to keep me in place. I placed my hands on the sides of his neck. I tried keeping up and I managed to. He even turned us sideways so that everyone and I mean everyone, could get a clear picture of what we were doing right now. He pushed my body closer to his. I felt every bit of him against me. I placed one hand again
st his fast beating heart.

  My heart raced in panic. I didn't want the people in my household to know how I had feelings towards him, not the neighborhood, and especially not his mom. His mom terrified me the most. But I think he didn't care. He wanted to show her that he cared for me. He wanted to make her mad. I could just imagine her boiling inside right now.

  He took my breath away. We were both breathing hard. He had our foreheads against each other. Just like this morning with the first kiss. I'd never forget those wonderful moments with him. I couldn't believe it all had to be remembered, but never happen again!

  “If that's what you want then...” he gulped, “I'll do as you wish.”

  And I left him there as I went back home, not looking back with spilling, never ending, stupid tears. I didn't even have the guts to tell him goodbye. Well, in general I hated goodbyes and he knew that.

  I closed my front door, slid down against it, and sat on the floor covering my face with my hands feeling my heart breaking into pieces. I wanted to run out there and hold him again. I was never going to see him ever again. His mom was evil. I bet she planned all of this to hurt me. What if Marylin planned this? I bet he did too. I couldn't do anything about it except cry and be in even more pain.

  Awhile later, I got up all stiff from sitting, and head up to the game room to look outside. The U-Haul wasn't there, just as the cars weren't there either. My insides felt heavy.

  Damn. The least I should've told him was I was going to miss him. I missed him already. I felt like a part of me died away, and Ronnie took it, because I couldn't find it. I couldn't even replace it. Everything in me was dying into emptiness. I would never see happiness standing in front of me from now on. Life was torturing me and not making it easy for me at all. I don't think I wanted to live the next day, knowing what happened next for me. I knew without a doubt, I would continue losing the things I loved the most.

  And I’ll admit it...